I graduated a month an a half ago. Almost immediately I had to start looking for a job. Initially my mindset was- hey you know what... it’s going to be a piece of cake. Everything was up to that point- but I never realized that I had had that security blanket. I was completely oblivious to the warm comfort that is the educational system.
Things are planned for you up until the end of your education. You know that after kindergarten you have to deal with grade school and high school and before you know it you’re in college.
But then what?
You have to get yourself a job. But is it that simple? What do you want to be? Well in my case I studied to be an Interior Designer.
But suddenly I feel like I'm five years old again and I want to be a flight stewardess, I want to fly all over the world free as can be and see things that make me believe that living on this planet is one of the best things there is.
The past week I remembered another one of my dream careers-I wanted to pursue a career in sculpture at one point. But before that idea even began to flower it was crushed because even at 12 I remember telling myself that I’d have to supplement such a career with something more solid (I was 12 for crying out loud)
Then there was my stint with photography. A definite possibility after a course of about 2 months-I was one of the most interesting experiences-life behind the lens.
So what do I do?
Knee jerk reaction. - marry a rich gorgeous sheikh and do everything!
Reality Check. Stick to the plan. Be an interior designer. Work with people who inspire me. Travel and still find time for hobbies like photography and sculpture.
But First......
Get off my lazy butt and find myself a job.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
The user name right angle does not convey a gift with numbers(trig to be more specific) My first year of university my prof basically told be that nothing made naturally is at a right angle.Yet we as people (not just designers) seem obsessed with straight lines and perfect angles.so when i get particularly anal about certain things happening around me it basically reminds me to let loose and live a lil.
besides.. my skills in math are practically nonexistent.
Thought i'd better throw myself into writing or the journal would only be a half hearted attempt at shaping up my writing skills-and how great would that look on a list of my lifes acheivments?
So what got my goat today?
ahh i was driving a fast as i could with a whole lot of traffic when this car that had been parked cut with indicators flashing the whole shebang he wasnt even hesitating to get into the flow of traffic.2 seconds and he was in front of me. nice and smooth wht reason did i have to not let him infront of me?
None whatsoever.
but the guy behind me had something to say.he started honking his horn and cut into the side road presumably to have words with me.I wasnt in a good mood and he must have noticed coz he simply waved his arms around and mouthed a series of cusses.
I realy hate macho jackasses on the road.
I really hate that that is the only event that stood out in my day today.
ahh wait.. im getting borderline anal..
deeps breaths...whoosa.
nothing like an image of Martin Lawrence and Will Smith to get a girl smiling.
If theres any justice in this world I hope that the buggar ran out of gas and had to push his van home.
besides.. my skills in math are practically nonexistent.
Thought i'd better throw myself into writing or the journal would only be a half hearted attempt at shaping up my writing skills-and how great would that look on a list of my lifes acheivments?
So what got my goat today?
ahh i was driving a fast as i could with a whole lot of traffic when this car that had been parked cut with indicators flashing the whole shebang he wasnt even hesitating to get into the flow of traffic.2 seconds and he was in front of me. nice and smooth wht reason did i have to not let him infront of me?
None whatsoever.
but the guy behind me had something to say.he started honking his horn and cut into the side road presumably to have words with me.I wasnt in a good mood and he must have noticed coz he simply waved his arms around and mouthed a series of cusses.
I realy hate macho jackasses on the road.
I really hate that that is the only event that stood out in my day today.
ahh wait.. im getting borderline anal..
deeps breaths...whoosa.
nothing like an image of Martin Lawrence and Will Smith to get a girl smiling.
If theres any justice in this world I hope that the buggar ran out of gas and had to push his van home.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
On May 30th 2005 I hit this lone pedestrian who was crossing a 4 lane highway (Shk. Zayed Rd.). It was like he had a death wish. Well if he did he was lucky enough to have me come around and fulfill it.
See I'm always trying to justify what happened.
I mean it was a four lane highway. Who would be crazy enough to attempt to cross a 4 lane highway drunk? (I forgot to mention that his blood alcohol level was approaching blood poisoning level. he was oblivious to everything-it’s a comfort to me-I don’t think he saw me coming)
It was a traumatic experience. These days I think of it frame by frame rather then the sequence of events... I really love the human mind. At least I love my mind. It knows just what to do to cope.
Thinking it of it as a sequence- well I was working late at university-3 days for the end of term and I’d just gotten myself on schedule. I had it all planned-getting through the next three days was going to be a breeze. So I left college on the 30th May at 12:30am in high spirits. I was tired but very happy at the thought of going home and getting into bed. At 12:45am I saw a man on the road crossing onto my track. I hit the brakes with my unconscious saying ‘fuck no fuck no’ but I felt the impact, saw the cracked windscreen and what could only be blood. The brain registered that I'm in big trouble but my mind said ‘no no no’ my foot was off the brake and just moving slowly and all around me cars screeched to a stop. All I wanted to do is hit the accelerator and run but the brain kicked in and I came to a complete stop.
I think I sat in the car for a minute or two getting my bearings. I knew he was dead. I distinctly remember a sliver of something pink and slimy on the dashboard. I do believe that it was a bit of the poor bastards’ brain. I remember being slightly shaky getting out of the car. I thought I was in shock but I was thinking pretty coherently so I told myself to snap out of it. I walked up to the car closest to me and he asked me ‘what is that thing on the road’ I told him that it was a human being. I really didn’t know how I was supposed to act. I couldn’t think of anything to say- human being. Damn I killed a man. It feels almost plastic. Like I’d read it in a book and it isn’t me living the story.
I hadn’t any credit on my cell phone that night so I asked the man if I could use his cell phone and called up my dad who was fast asleep 20 minutes away.
It was one of the worst things I've ever had to do to date. Calling up my father and telling him that I’d had an accident and that I’d hit a man. The panic in his voice worried me. He’s not a young man and not very well-I never wanted to bring anything like this down on his head.
Everyone around me was very sweet. The police said it wasn’t a problem that I didn’t have to be worried because it happens lots of times. I was shocked- and uncomfortable. I mean the guy was dead and all everyone had to say was its ok it happens all the time. I have to admit that I was relieved in the sense everyone made it sound like an everyday event. But I couldn’t simply say ‘hey it’s alright happens all the time.’
Thank god my father and sister came. I saw their faces when they rushed over to me with their arms open and I started crying then and there. Public displays of emotion shame me no matter how many times I go through them.
It was a trying day to say the least I mean I was up practically 24 hours that night and I’ve never missed a day of sleep-never ever. I’d been on my feet since around six that morning and 22 hours later I was being interrogated by this cop who was under the impression that I was joyriding and that mowing down live men was something I did for kicks. I was pretty annoyed with that guy.
Anyway when you aren’t in the situation you’ll never completely understand. Just a few days ago my dad told me that he felt that the accident could have been averted if I had a better presence of mind-if I’d been more alert. My self pitying self is thinking. Oh so what are you trying to say? That I killed the guy? I mean its one thing saying that there’s absolutely nothing you could have done about- it wasn’t your fault. And then there’s saying it wasn’t your fault but if you had been more careful this wouldn’t have happened.
I mean come on. All I want to do is to forget.
I wrote this about four months after my accident.
Its been 9 months now but it feels like it happened eons ago.Im glad to say that I put it behind me.I rarely think about it except when i'm driving and these crazy pedestrians decide to throw themselves onto my path.
Then i read this article in the Gulf News where workers actually admit to dashing across the road in the hopes of securing a pretty substantial sum in blood money.
http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/06/03/29/10028914.html
the labourer who opened up to the press about the story says:
he learnt about the blood money rule from his colleagues while working as a daily wage earner.
"At first I was quite scared about getting knocked down by a vehicle. "I know only a couple of others who are attempting the same. I am desperate," he said.
I was skeptical when people comforted me with this information just after my accident.It angers me at the jeopardy these people place everyone involved.For instance if i hadnt had insurance i would have found myself in jail for a year.As it was i am extremely lucky to have been released after 16 hours.
But im glad that Dubai is finally beginning change their outlook on pedestrian deaths on Highways.It should not be legal to cross a highway.There should be pedestrian crossings at every interchange.Development of Dubai's infrastructure should encourage pedestrian activity not just the motorists.
With 2 people dying every day in Dubai, which is a pretty small city-things have to change.
See I'm always trying to justify what happened.
I mean it was a four lane highway. Who would be crazy enough to attempt to cross a 4 lane highway drunk? (I forgot to mention that his blood alcohol level was approaching blood poisoning level. he was oblivious to everything-it’s a comfort to me-I don’t think he saw me coming)
It was a traumatic experience. These days I think of it frame by frame rather then the sequence of events... I really love the human mind. At least I love my mind. It knows just what to do to cope.
Thinking it of it as a sequence- well I was working late at university-3 days for the end of term and I’d just gotten myself on schedule. I had it all planned-getting through the next three days was going to be a breeze. So I left college on the 30th May at 12:30am in high spirits. I was tired but very happy at the thought of going home and getting into bed. At 12:45am I saw a man on the road crossing onto my track. I hit the brakes with my unconscious saying ‘fuck no fuck no’ but I felt the impact, saw the cracked windscreen and what could only be blood. The brain registered that I'm in big trouble but my mind said ‘no no no’ my foot was off the brake and just moving slowly and all around me cars screeched to a stop. All I wanted to do is hit the accelerator and run but the brain kicked in and I came to a complete stop.
I think I sat in the car for a minute or two getting my bearings. I knew he was dead. I distinctly remember a sliver of something pink and slimy on the dashboard. I do believe that it was a bit of the poor bastards’ brain. I remember being slightly shaky getting out of the car. I thought I was in shock but I was thinking pretty coherently so I told myself to snap out of it. I walked up to the car closest to me and he asked me ‘what is that thing on the road’ I told him that it was a human being. I really didn’t know how I was supposed to act. I couldn’t think of anything to say- human being. Damn I killed a man. It feels almost plastic. Like I’d read it in a book and it isn’t me living the story.
I hadn’t any credit on my cell phone that night so I asked the man if I could use his cell phone and called up my dad who was fast asleep 20 minutes away.
It was one of the worst things I've ever had to do to date. Calling up my father and telling him that I’d had an accident and that I’d hit a man. The panic in his voice worried me. He’s not a young man and not very well-I never wanted to bring anything like this down on his head.
Everyone around me was very sweet. The police said it wasn’t a problem that I didn’t have to be worried because it happens lots of times. I was shocked- and uncomfortable. I mean the guy was dead and all everyone had to say was its ok it happens all the time. I have to admit that I was relieved in the sense everyone made it sound like an everyday event. But I couldn’t simply say ‘hey it’s alright happens all the time.’
Thank god my father and sister came. I saw their faces when they rushed over to me with their arms open and I started crying then and there. Public displays of emotion shame me no matter how many times I go through them.
It was a trying day to say the least I mean I was up practically 24 hours that night and I’ve never missed a day of sleep-never ever. I’d been on my feet since around six that morning and 22 hours later I was being interrogated by this cop who was under the impression that I was joyriding and that mowing down live men was something I did for kicks. I was pretty annoyed with that guy.
Anyway when you aren’t in the situation you’ll never completely understand. Just a few days ago my dad told me that he felt that the accident could have been averted if I had a better presence of mind-if I’d been more alert. My self pitying self is thinking. Oh so what are you trying to say? That I killed the guy? I mean its one thing saying that there’s absolutely nothing you could have done about- it wasn’t your fault. And then there’s saying it wasn’t your fault but if you had been more careful this wouldn’t have happened.
I mean come on. All I want to do is to forget.
I wrote this about four months after my accident.
Its been 9 months now but it feels like it happened eons ago.Im glad to say that I put it behind me.I rarely think about it except when i'm driving and these crazy pedestrians decide to throw themselves onto my path.
Then i read this article in the Gulf News where workers actually admit to dashing across the road in the hopes of securing a pretty substantial sum in blood money.
http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/06/03/29/10028914.html
the labourer who opened up to the press about the story says:
he learnt about the blood money rule from his colleagues while working as a daily wage earner.
"At first I was quite scared about getting knocked down by a vehicle. "I know only a couple of others who are attempting the same. I am desperate," he said.
I was skeptical when people comforted me with this information just after my accident.It angers me at the jeopardy these people place everyone involved.For instance if i hadnt had insurance i would have found myself in jail for a year.As it was i am extremely lucky to have been released after 16 hours.
But im glad that Dubai is finally beginning change their outlook on pedestrian deaths on Highways.It should not be legal to cross a highway.There should be pedestrian crossings at every interchange.Development of Dubai's infrastructure should encourage pedestrian activity not just the motorists.
With 2 people dying every day in Dubai, which is a pretty small city-things have to change.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)